This is an ongoing project aimed at defending the virtue and honor of Odysseus’ wife, Penelope, from the viciously scurillous attacks of contemporary deconstructive thought, particularly in what I like to call (trying to be deliciously ironic), “toxic femininity.” It is my hope that the entries in this project may fortify classical Christian teachers and students against the culture-destroying currents of this type of criticism, which in this case have selected Homer’s “prudent Penelope” as the target of immense, and often quite unreasonable, hatred of two of the most undeniable aspects of human existence: femininity and masculinity themselves. For the sake of giving credit, my title for this project, “The Penelopiad” is deliberately taken from Margaret Atwood’s simply atrocious assault on Penelope (and all the good she stands for) by that title.